The wisdom of Ray Emery

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

When a man marries a woman, they become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin’ his salt he forgets his sugar.

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

The wife left a note on the fridge…

“It’s not working,

I can’t take it anymore..!!

Gone to stay with my Mother”

 

I opened the fridge,

the light came on,

and the beer was cold………

What the Hell is she talking about..?

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Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning: “Windows frozen.”

Husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.”

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely screwed up now.”