Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
When a man marries a woman, they become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin’ his salt he forgets his sugar.
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
The wife left a note on the fridge…
“It’s not working,
I can’t take it anymore..!!
Gone to stay with my Mother”
I opened the fridge,
the light came on,
and the beer was cold………
What the Hell is she talking about..?
Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning: “Windows frozen.”
Husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.”
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely screwed up now.”